Last week I turned 40. Not so bad after all I found… in fact 30 was a tougher milestone as I was prepared for 40!
A huge realisation is that good is ok and chasing perfect is near on pointless.
I do many things well, some things I am very good at and there are equally many things I am not so good at in varying degrees. As I ponder 40 I realise “good” is not so bad. I used to chase “perfect” and found perfect a hard goal to achieve and even harder to maintain. To be perfect leaves me focusing on my imperfections and alludes to a place where improvement is capped? To be good, gives me constant room for growth and further learning. An odd realisation but one that seems to be ringing true.
In my youth and younger professional years, I sought after an abundance of happiness, love, success, rewards and plenty of the good life that comes with being the very best I could be. The truth be told, I found something quite different. I married and divorced, I experienced depression and hardship, I opened and closed businesses, I took risks and failed. But, through these times and no doubt until the end, I found the key to keeping on and not letting the past be my legacy.
And it is no surprise that the key is to learn from your mistakes, be calculated and at times shrewd in your decisions but have empathy and compassion with you as you really don’t know what someone else is dealing with. I have since remarried, created an amazing family of six, found happiness and gained the tools to manage the lows while equally managing the highs. I am learning to respect my body and found health and fitness and am stronger both mentally and physically now than when I was 20… 25… 30 and definitely 35. My dad said recently “son, when I turned 40 I thought what was the hype all about and then 50 the same thing and 60 and 70”. Turns out the best years are ahead of me if I choose to take his sage advice.
So to sign off from this wee ramble. I leave with another saying “start the way you mean to finish”. And for me, that meant no big party with lots of alcohol and a late night for my birthday celebrations. It meant completing a 30km adventure race over mountains and through rivers and sand dunes. I trained hard and knocked off a lifetime goal. But, I’m far from done, I’ve just begun… If I am to finish the way I started my 40’s than I need a bigger race, bigger goal and a scarier one to say goodbye 40 and hello 50. And I think I might just know what that is!
Here’s to a life of abundance, happiness, love, success, and rewards!
Peace and grace.
If you had a life achievement, be it big or small… bare all and share here, it really is quite liberating.
The average age in Britain is now 40. Headlines screaming that the country had turned middle-aged overnight summoned up a nation shuffling about in dad jeans, moaning about their backs and how young people have no manners.